Only a Season

(December 2011) So I haven't written in a while. It's been the Christmas season which, is of course rather busy but that's the way I like it. Lots of family, friends and food. And for me, being pregnant at Christmas gives me extra excitement, though I'm not sure why. Maybe I relate to Mary a bit more, feel more connected to the reason we celebrate. This season is full of joy, yet lately I've been feeling completely overwhelmed by life.


Don't misunderstand me, I love my family and many aspects of my life. I'm happy to have pets and kids and an artsy, intelligent, blue-collar husband who owns a small business with a little house, a baby on the way and some part-time work to stimulate my non-mom brain cells. But as any mother knows just because life is good doesn't mean it's easy. (And yes I said "mother". It's true there are some fathers who are very involved, but the majority of household responsibilities tends to fall on the mothers. Not because the fathers care less, it's just how we're wired. Generally speaking women define themselves by their relationships and men define themselves by their work.- Perhaps I'll write more on that later.) So I'm facing the question, "How do I find/create the life balance that works for us?"


Although I love formulas, I don't believe they apply to the majority of real life situations. Jane and Michael down the street may be happiest if they both get regular gym time, work full-time and use babysitters regularly to keep up a lively social life. While David and Sally prefer the 50s style of David working full-time but being home by 5 and Sally running the house. Each family is unique, so what works for us?


Usually I start with a list. (I love lists!) What are the components we need:
- family time
- couple time
- personal time
- exercise
- hobbies/ side jobs (music & art)
- dog walking
- house cleaning
- meal prep
- groceries.
...
At this point I start to get bored. My mind begins to wander and my heart becomes overwhelmed. How do we fit all this in? Then I remember, my husband doesn't like formulas, so he'll have a hard time following any that I come up with anyway. Plus, I'm not comfortable with a dictator role in our marriage, and chances are that once I figure out something that works life will change again. Thus I'm trying to embrace my inner free-spirit (it's in here somewhere) and go with the flow. Establish priorities then set some boundaries on the items that end up at the bottom of the list, and remember that everything in life is only for a season. So I'm trying to enjoy what I can from each moment.

"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens;


a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a timet to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."


Ecclesiastes 3:3-8 NIV