Simply Mom

With all our modern conveniences, I think the world (at least the part of the world I live) has managed to make life more complicated.

We've invented millions of devices to make our lives faster with the aim of giving us more time to relax yet we just use them to pack more "stuff" into our days. We seem to have less time 'off' because any spare moment we do have is filled with checking texts, emails, facebook, twitter, etc. And even the idea of time off from a paid work position has become so... short and rare in today's society. (Well, North American society. I've heard that the developed European countries are better at honouring time away from work. Like the saying goes, they 'work to live, not live to work'.) How many of us work 6, sometimes 7 days a week, without ever really being off because we're checking emails? And how often is a first introduction followed by the question, "So what do you do?" As if our job is our identity. For most of us I suppose it is.

I've been trying to simplify my life and focus on my current priority, which is my young family. So I've said no to some volunteer opportunities. I've made peace with spending more time at home instead of dragging my kids around to different errands and outings. I've even noticed that I've stopped posting pictures and status updates on facebook because I was feeling pressure to be telling everyone what I was doing, how my family is, instead of just doing it, and enjoying the moments myself. (Interestingly, we are so used to fb being an instant forum that when I was posting pictures late, I found even close family members assuming I was there right now. ) But that's just regarding technology.

Even psychology and sociology, with all the deeper understanding it's provided about personalities, temperaments, human responses, mental and emotional processing, etc. in some ways it's made life more difficult. Instead of just giving us information to help us make better choices, and be more understanding of others, it's given us so much that it's easy to feel burdened by the responsibility to know everything and make "perfect" choices. I'm not even going to get into the pressures of choosing the right career.

Take parenting, for example; in years past parents raised their kids however they saw fit in that moment. Sure they made some mistakes, but for the most part they probably didn't dwell on it. Until someone wrote a book years later about how they did such and such so wrong and messed up their kid. Even the kids probably accepted their parents actions with a more "that's just the way life is" attitude, until someone suggested they'd been wronged. Of course there are benefits. Beating your children with a belt everyday is not a parenting strategy I endorse, but creating boundaries with consequences for our children is one I do. It's part of teaching them how the world works. If you jump off the couch you will fall to the ground. If you take away your little brother's toys, your toys will be taken away from you. If you are nice to your brother, when he is bigger he won't take your toys away from you. If you chase the cat, the cat will scratch you. If you are gentle with the cat, she will stay and let you pet her.

So today, as I was sweeping the floor this morning I found myself thinking, "I'm a good mom." Then immediately felt guilty for it! Why?! I'm not suggesting I'm better than anyone else, or that I don't have room to grow. Which got me thinking about the negative side effects of our pursuit of knowledge. I guess the pressure to be confident yet humble, to be sure of your decisions yet tolerant of others', to be socially acceptable in every thought, word and deed is too much.

(And really, I think we often forget the true definitions of words like confidence, humility, and tolerance, but I digress.)

Our world has many good things, and good people in it, but it's not all good. Not everything that has become socially acceptable is actually beneficial. How do we avoid being weighed down instead of liberated by all societies advances? I'm still working on it but I suggest that we simplify and let life just be, more often. Instead of worrying that today's lunch doesn't have all four food groups, or wondering if being angry when we gave the third time out in 3 hours will damage our child's spirit, or feeling guilty that we would sometimes rather sleep than have a date night with our spouse, or anxious that we have managed a break from our toddler with maximum efficiency, we accept that we are not perfect.

We don't have to have it all together all the time. We do need to focus on the good. And although we aren't perfect, we are perfectly matched for our life. Our weaknesses can become strengths, our imperfections can get better. God is the bringer of ALL good, and He is able to bring ALL the good out of us, into the world that surrounds us. So say it with me, "I am a good mom." (and don't feel the least bit guilty.)

For I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful, I know that full well.             Psalm 139:14 NIV

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he as done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can undersatnd. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. ...Fix your thoughts on what is true and honourable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are worthy of praise.                     Philippians 4:6-7,8b NLT

And I am sure that God who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again.                              Philippians 1:6 NLT