Acceptance = Success

Recently I realized that a huge part of success in motherhood is acceptance. Acceptance of your children, your spouse, and yourself.

I've mentioned before that my first son was a horrible sleeper, in fact he didn't sleep through the night until almost two years old. Yet I think my biggest mistake was resisting who he was, and what he needed at that time. (He is now a fantastic sleeper, and extremely easy to put to bed anywhere, but he's still a light sleeper. My husband keeps falling asleep while putting him to bed and if I go to wake my husband up, it's our son who wakes first, even if it's my husband's leg that I'm shaking). Instead I listened to the hum around me suggesting that it was my fault that he wasn't sleeping 12 hour stretches by 6 months, that there was some disobedient flaw in him for resisting my sleep schedule desires, and this must be fixed as soon as possible to avoid permanent repercussions. It wasn't until I accepted the way things were and relaxed that he began settling better at night.

Admittedly, I am probably one of the worst at rebelling against reality. I'm forever trying to improve things, fix them, make them better. I end up being the classic, miss-the-present type of person far too often. But I also stop for impromptu dance parties, and make plans on the fly (I still like a plan though, even if the plan is "we have no plan"). This is something I recently had to accept about myself because I found it was keeping me from reaching out to others. I assumed they were well-planned, or that they would feel put on the spot by my last minute invitation. So I made a couple phone calls asking if anyone was free to go to the event at the mall that I happened to see in the paper that morning. One friend was able to make it, and we had a great morning with the kids. It's grown our friendship and further encouraged one between our sons.

Accepting my husband's busy work schedule is maybe the most difficult for me. He owns a seasonal business so he works long hours and is exhausted when he gets home (see above: falling asleep with our two year old). But a good aspect is that he is a hard worker, a character trait we want our children to learn. And I know despite his absence this is his way of loving us. He only works this hard so provide for us, and care for his family. It's still hard juggling two bedtime schedules most nights, and can be sad to put effort into a supper that is cajoled into a toddler, hurried into my own mouth, and eaten cold or re-heated by him. When our baby rarely even sees him during the week I expect a bit of making strange to happen, further attaching the baby to me. But I'm trying, and accepting that this is what it is has helped.

Prayer has also helped. God promises to keep helping develop the good in us. (Philippians 1:6) God wants the best for us and our families. He knows us better than we know ourselves, and it actually works. I promise that if you ask God to help you accept yourself, your life and family for who they are - He will. I'm so thankful we don't have to do this alone.

God has given us beautiful life, in a beautiful world, and we are blessed to be parents, spouses, daughters, sisters, etc. Let's take His love and let it surround everything. Take a deep breath, remember all the good things about your current state in life, and let it out. Let the good cover the not so good parts, and we'll all make it through this together.